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roadrunner
30-10-2007, 13:56
Ciungă = a homemade Rumanian construction material made from 2 days chewed bubblegum.
It has a very good adherence to objects like tables, floors and of course hair.
Romanians have a long and lasting tradition of putting ciungă on the hair, the recipients
of such high commendation being a select group among the Rumanian citizens.
To be spotted as having "ciungă-n păr"(ciunga in the hair in English) is an appreciation of a successful career.
The bearers of such honour are selected from the masses and given the opportunity to change their lives.

The ciunga is related to glue (prenandez ) and a variety of soap called "Duru care spala curu" as they are both made from the
bones of dogs specially trained for this. These dogs are set free on the streets to multiply and eat small children, this giving a very
good consistency of the ciunga product. The dogs are then collected from the street, after they have produced a dozen other such dogs each,
killed in a ritual under the red moonlight. As their bones are being ground to create the "faina de oase de caine"
(the main ingredient for ciunga ), their meat is used for preparation of face health-care products or the highly popular "salam de sibiu",
an edible beating stick.


manca-ti-as = a special word used to describe many attitudes and various thoughts in Romanian language. Usually, it is followed
by an anatomic part of the human body. Examples: "manca-ti-as p.... co...... etc. This word does not express hunger, in most cases,
but you can never be too sure, as the Romanians have a very healthy appetite for everything that can be put in the mouth (especially women).


Curva = a select social category, mainly formed of women and high-school girls, that are organized in a sort of secret society, that have the
insidious goal of killing the male population through intense sexual activity. A derived word of the curva, is tarfa, the difference being
that a curva will have sex with anybody, but a tarfa will have sex with anybody but you.


Manelist = A special breed of romanian built to withstand even the most horrific sounds , that he himself can make , they are often used at
parties to calm down violent drunkmen from breaking things. Be aware that in order not to harm other guests money must be thrown to make
the beast stop.

naspa = this word has actually no meaning, but vaguely evil and bad. It's beyond adjectives or nouns, it can even be a verb if the speaker is
drunk enough. Naspa can be used in any situation. Your dog dies "naspa", your grandmother is on fire "naspa", you lost a penny "really naspa".


lol = It's not actually a romanian word but young teens keep on using it. It is extremely uncool to actually laugh about a joke, you just
politely say lol and nod with a serious look. Tracing the word back to it's roots is hard, but it seems to be most present in the deep
waters of the mIRC and it is extremely popular among young teens who don't have a life but are seaching for one on the internet.


bengos = a word used to describe something cool. In Romanian language anything good can be bengos. You bought a new pair of jeans, they are
"bengosi", you go to a club - it's bengos. It is the opposite of "naspa" and can be use even for describing a person: "a bengos ass", "bengoase
breasts" and so on.


Aurolac = a weak narcotic found in Romania, embedded in plastic bags sold at grocery stores. After its introduction it was reported to have
increased sales of ciungă and other construction materials by 300% percent. Best known location for aurolac drug-addicts is the senate
where, almost every day there are reports of people falling asleep from the drug.

sfinx
31-12-2007, 11:12
da mishto?
nu vrei sa-l faci cunoscut , e folosit de vedetele de paie din ro

daniel_D
08-10-2009, 15:50
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Romania (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Romania)

1. RELIGIA:

Religion

The Romanians are a very religious culture, their main activity is calling God in their life. Romanians also look to God for help. The best way to show their religious belief is to get into crowded churches and stare at other people's clothes, this activity happening especially at Christmas and Easter. After that one must discuss each piece of clothing in enclosed circles determined by age and social position. This ritual is extremely hard and therefore the best ones at it are midle aged men and women who stand in front of their house all day, on little chairs and thus can compare the street style with the church style.

The visit to the church is made more interesting by the constant danger of being burned "unintentionately" of course with a candle, get your money stolen or get hit with a piece of firework. Romanians are a very adventuresome nation and they like the thrill of going to church in dangerous conditions.

Romanians are so religious that they mainly use the word God or it's associates (if they don't use the so popular sex oral or penis) in everyday life. For instance, let us say that you can't find your wallet. Then, a ritualistic invocation of God is needed: "Unde penis mea l-am pus?! Futu-i Dumnezeii lui de portofel!!!" (Where could I have put my wallet? God help me find it, so I can introduce it to the pleasures of anal sexual intercourse, please!)

Another highly religious expression is <'tulai Doamne!> (Untranslateable in this form, but linked to the word God=Doamne). This is a derrived of <Futu-l-ai Doamne!>, which means "May God give you the best of luck so that you may enjoy the pleasure of sexual intercorse in the near future".

Romanians are so religious that each holiday is celebrated by ingesting high alcohol quantities, until each and every person in a village or city is closer to God. We are proud of drinking red wine, which makes us feel that much close to our Saviour. The connection is obvious to any true priest but they were too drunk to answer our questions at the time this article was written...we will pursue the case and anounce you.

It is also very common to invoke the Saints, the ancestors, other higher beings and especially the symbol of christianity: the cross! Common expressions are like "Futu-ti crucea matii!" (May the holy cross watch over your mother) or "Rupe-se-ar cailor lu' Dumnezeu hamurile cand imi trag penis din mata!" (May God's horses have a nice day, and may your mother be fertile and happy.)

Misa is the main Romanian religious cult. This religion is a form of yoga and hardcore sex, practiced by over 98% of the population. A couple hundred people gather in a place called the fuckers' grounds and they starting having wild sex with each other.

The whole process is lead by The Guru, a highly important figure in Romania. Many people love this man and teach their children to be just like him; he recently published a book "How to love your neighbour, from behind" which was declared a best-seller in the first weekend, and over 1 million copies sold in the first week. Of course, The Guru donated all those earnings to the victims of incorrect copulation, which happen fairly often in the cult, due to the excess use of drugs and wine.

The Guru is also known as IPS Teoctist. He is a former bulldozer driver, now converted to the state of church-constructor. Regarding its megalomany, a quote defines it: "My limit is the sky!", limit which he intend to reach by constructing a church in the centre of Bucharest. The church plans revealed that the saint's faces painted on the church were all his face, subtile arranged with Adobe Photoscrot.

2. Bucuresti:

Summer capital of Romania ( how could a country have a "summer capital"? whoever wrote this was seriously deranged - oh yeah? so what?)). Also largest city in the country, except for summer, when 50% to 80% of the population migrates to the seaside (see Tourism in Romania) to show off the expensive cars that during the rest of the year turn the mother city in to a huge parking lot. It is also known as "the city of the 9 hills", sporting only one noticeable height difference, innappropiately known as "Dealul Mitropoliei" - "The Metropolitan Hill" (go figure). Besides the above mentioned attractions, Bucharest is a city of many enchantments. Most of the magical population of Romania seems to live here (those specialised in disappearing acts). Anyway, all inhabitants are very warm and welcoming folks, very fond of tourists - especially german (cars), american (wallets), japanese (cameras) etc
You will also find here a wide array of wildlife (they seem to have turned the city in to a hybrid of wildlife reservation and zoo) - See Romania - Flora and Fauna In Bucharest you may find many species of inhabbitants: tzaranii (the peasants - common word for people who do not know how to dress or act in society,), shmecherii (the cool ones - word for people showing off with their parents money, pretending they're theirs) and the rroms - a special category of people, populating most of the districts of Bucharest. The cool ones pretend to become urbans, title granted only for cool city looking guys with fancy clothes and crazy haircut.

* The weather in Bucharest has 2 seasons - dirty (spring and summer) and very dirty (autumn and winter). Once in 4 years, a strange and new kind of weather appears: clean (elections time).
* Driving in Bucharest: you may find that driving in Bucharest is an extreme sport and requires many protection systems. There are 3 categories of drivers: the sleepers (drivers that sleep behind the wheel - do not honk, you may disturb their sleep), the fast and the furious and the 3rd category, the most dangerous one - too fast and too furious. To be prepaired you have to: always be ready to honk loud and clear,in order for the other drivers to notice you - mirrors are not enough for them. Have your middle finger prepaired to greet other partipants in traffic. They will answer back in the same way. Also, other forms of saluting other drivers in your way to the office are: "Cine ma-ta te-a invatat sa conduci, ba boule!!", "Misca imbecilule, ca ma grabesc!!" and "Futu-ti frana ma-ti ca era sa intru-n tine!!". The other drivers will answer back in very polite ways like: "Du-te-n ma-ta de imbecil!" Also, in Bucharest, pedestrians seem to have suicidal attempts (as they cross everywhere but the crossing sign) so be carefull not to run them down. When a gypsy with a bottle and a cloth approaches your vehicle, drive as fast as you can at them, attempting to clip their knees, as they will wipe your window if it is the last thing they ever do!

Always be careful at the rroms transportation means: the horse and carriage, the donkey and sometimes children carring each other. The sales representatives are the most weired specie of drivers. Do not annoy them, or this will be the last thing you've ever done in your lifetime.


Daca intrati pe link, cautati si Irlanda..:)

SuperGelfand
08-10-2009, 16:38
Mai exista o categorie de soferi: soferul-pieton: acel sofer blocat in trafic care blocat in trafic, decide sa mearga pe spatiul destinat pietonilor. Mergi linistit pe trotuar si il vezi cum claxoneaza nervos sa te dai la o parte.

lac
09-10-2009, 13:05
M-am distrat copios citind fragmnetul de mai sus..... dar m-am si intristat in acelasi timp.... unele descrieri chiar reflecta realitatea.....


Anca